Obinna Strange

You’ll Give a Nigerian tailor a material in 1967 and say to him/her ‘abeg oh I go use am for 2015, shey e go don ready by then’ To which they’ll reply ‘ah ah oga! Why you dey talk like this. 2015 still far na. me? Tailor swift? Oga come by 12 midnight for 1914 e go don ready. I go do correct throw back Thursday for you. No worry.’ And you know how the story goes. It is 2017 and you’re yet to get that cloth, generations after generations. Some Nigerian tailors are wonderful people I swear. It usually starts with a friend recommending one very sweet, nice and sharp tailor for you. ‘see stevo! If that guy sew cloth for you ehn you go dey over sharp. No near people o because you go dey cut dem like razor blade. Abeg oh! I don tell you oh, I no sabi write statement for station oh’ and with that you’re sold. You realize your calling in life is to slay; to cut people so deeply with your wears that they’ll be bleeding with admiration. You seek out this tailor. At first, you’ll give hi...

Apostate The last time i checked, people who believe that a virgin gave birth to a god were just mocking those who believe that they will be given 70 virgins if they died for a holy cause.  I don't believe either nor hold any claim of 'supernatural truths'. Yet, my humble position have attracted ridicule, in the guise of bogus questions, from 'skeptics' who never believe that someone can live without recourse or reverence to at least one supernatural entity. Most often, such questions directed to me have unverifiable answers like; Who 'created' everything, Where would you spend your 'eternity', What 'controls' everything? As if my agnostic position implies omniscience. Scot Adams in his book 'the god debris' said you can only know if people really believe, by looking at their lifestyle and not by what they profess. To that end, i 'respect' religious suicide bombers who will give up life's greatest gift (life itself...

MARRIED MEN AND THE COOKIE JAR "All men have the tendency to cheat". This theory has been proven countless times. Most times I wonder why even after trying several jars and finally deciding to settle down to one jar and take vows (which are just mere say to many) to remain loyal and faithful, they still end up trying other jars. The rhetoric "Don't these men ever get satisfied?" Comes to mind I was oportuned to speak to a "runs girl", who is very much proud of her trade. She said she prefers the married guys to the single guys (trust me I was shocked and almost soiled myself). She told me the married guys have one similar manner if approached. Her words; "they tell you their friendship(oh! Yes they call having a sex partner- friendship) with you doesn't entail sex only". They try to prove how self willed and in control they are by going the extra mile to say it doesn't change a thing if the girl is stripped naked. Whether or not...

Error File I do not understand, never did and never knew Why things you never wanted always found their way into your life with amazing directions and arrived not a second more and not a second less Was it part of the the creator's plan or was it some sort of cosmic creature  who took delight in sending the things that you never planned for at moments you didn't want them. At birth, I had a programme file I was meant to follow. I think Religion was that file, only two things mattered, My Creator and My happiness if it did not interfere with that of others. Growing up, I had to combine my programme file with a system file. This file had the sum total of every single thing I ever loved and every single thing I ever hoped or aspired to be. It contained every single detail of my life .   Presently, I have an error file. I don't think it was meant to be created. I lived by the books, no deviations, too many restrictions, the perfect child and no matter the angle peop...

SUITE 303 JERRY MARRIOTT HOTELS His penis didn't agree that he would celebrate with his friends and was just 'looking ground' anyhow. Shantel naturally noticed he was anxious and ran her palm across his chest whispering 'it's not your fault' and soothingly told him 'calm down'. But the fact was He was on a runs girl in a bed in a JM suite, his G was giving another girl serious 'Lamba' (and would have casted him to the others in the sitting room of the suite) beside him on the same bed and his village people where actively working on his ability to get an erection. 1. How the hell was he supposed to calm down? 2. How the hell wasn't it his fault especially considering his low levels of physical fitness where because he was always either on a car or on a bike and the last time he had gone to the stadium was in his 3rd year? Her cool, homely voice called him back to the present and as she teased his nipple, Tope instinctively lowere...

I guess she lied to me about her school, so I lied to her about my age. Now, I don't care what they call biscuit in Ghana or if she's ever been there. Each morning, I dial her number and hope it rings. But I always get the same reply 'The subscriber you're calling, is currently not available' Why didn't I get her Facebook username? Why didn't I ask of her mail address? And how long will it take me to scroll through the list of Lindas on Facebook to get her. What if she uses a sobriquet for her user name? Watching her walk towards me that morning, I already knew something was going to happen. 'Do you guys sell cookies here?' She asked. I stared at her, not certain how to reply. Our eyes met, hers was blue, the colour of her blowse. She didn't take off her eyes and I wondered if my eyes were no longer scary like my friend's girlfriend insists. 'I want some cookies' It was then I saw the line that demarcated her boob. '...

    Have got something in my chest that I've always wanted to let off. Look, don't you find it funny that those things we promised ourselves when we were little not to ever do, we find ourselves indulging now. Am sure you remember when your mom was complaining about your neighbor's daughter sleeping around with men, doing runs girl. You told yourself that you will never disappoint your momma, that being a runs girl is disgusting. Well,  I hope you still have such mindset. Do you remember your street thugs? How they gather in one side smoking and getting high. These niggas are broke and look hungry. They come to you and then ask for #10. You give them hoping they will use it to buy food, rather they go ahead and still buy one more cigarette. And then you ask yourself what they ever gain from smoking crap. You promise yourself you will never touch it. I dunno about you but I do remember. Now, you've grown up, You're in the Uni. Life is different and more dif...