INFIDELITY By Katherine

INFIDELITY (By Katherine)

One of the major causes of break ups these days is infidelity... It's responsible for the dissolution of many relationships as we know it, whether directly or indirectly. But the question that comes to mind always is why do people cheat? Well, it ranges from insecurity, to lack of contentment, down to peer pressure, greed and of course, our village people, but I'm not here to talk about the reasons why we cheat, I'd focus rather on the act itself.. Infidelity!

A true relationship is one borne out of love, trust and respect, mutually. It's a two way affair, one can't be loving on behalf of the other, the two parties involved must reciprocate the love maximally. Infidelity is an infraction on love. It's a manifestation of the love of one's self above the other. When you get involved in a relationship, the idea is to forget yourself and think about the welfare of your spouse, and he or she in return the favour. Utmost mutualism, that's the word. So if you decide to break protocols and follow your whims, even if it's for a split second, you are betraying the love and trust of your spouse, and it could be really painful. The truth is this, we all are potential cheats. That you haven't cheated in your life probably means that you haven't either had the opportunity to do so, or maybe you have not found any other person who's worth compromising the love you have for your spouse, but believe me, you have it in you. Even if you don't "cheat out rightly, once you have text messages or whatsapp chats that you don't want he or she to see or you have certain people of the opposite sex (or the same sex as the case may be) that you visit under the radar, with the intention of concealing such meeting from your spouse, then you are cheating, even if it's for "business purposes". There's nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex, in fact you are encouraged to do so, but you have to know where to draw the line. Once you find yourself thinking about that friend of yours that's not of the same gender as you, know that your heart is drifting away, he or she is a threat to your relationship. Flee! Don't say "I know what I am doing.....everything is under control", that's bullshit, don't dialogue with tempation. Spending the night with someone of the opposite sex without the consent and approval of your spouse is infidelity on your part, even if nothing happened, or one of you slept on the floor, it's still wrong. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is saying to your self "he or she would understand", believe me, he won't, even if he decides to say nothing about it. That's a risk you shouldn't be willing to take.

So you've finally cheated on him or her... What next? Cover it up and move on? Nah, that's adding salt to the injury. When confronted with such situation, the best thing to do is to speak up. With a contrite heart, tell your lover what happened, without mincing words then beg for forgiveness. Don't be afraid of his or her reaction, what would be would be. Even if you are sure that it's only you and the devil that knows what really happened, still bring it up. It is the most honourable thing to do at that moment. That way, you would relieve yourself of the guilt, at least to an extent. It's also a sign that you are truly sorry and still in love with your beloved. But don't expect an automatic acceptance of the apology, your spouse would definitely feel hurt and would probably not talk to you for a while, but if he or she truly loves you, your forgiveness is almost certain. But you have to bear in mind that infidelity comes with a price, which is a reduction in the trust your spouse had for you. It's a scar that time, true remorse and continuous love and affection would heal.

So, take your relationships seriously. Take care of little things. Don't take things for granted. All you need is to drop your guard for just one second and the very foundations of your relationship would shake. Remember, as long as your relationship is concerned, the worst person to trust is yourself because you are capable of committing the worst sins imaginable with respect to fidelity, no matter how staunch or in love you think you are.

Written By Katherine